I wish I could teleport
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
