I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
