dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
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