I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
