I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize