there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
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Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
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Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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