You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize