normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
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Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
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HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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