I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
3pm strippers are depressing
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
