whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
