I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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