no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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