DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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