Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
