hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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