just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
