We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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