are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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