PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
