I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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