Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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