i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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