You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I would ride that face into the sunset
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
