just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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