i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I AM VODKA MAN
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
