check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
