4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
