At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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