Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
