cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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