Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
