Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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