My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
