Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
