im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
