addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
