Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
