Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Dignity is for republicans.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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