Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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