I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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