yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm drive I can fine osifer
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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