How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
