woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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