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actually, I'm a sock model
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
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