Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.