my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences In Dating Men And Women
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again