We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
