I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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