dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
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You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
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I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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