Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
