I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
