he wants to bone in the snuggie
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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