My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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