Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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