maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.