haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize