I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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